sad
Saturday, February 12, 2011, 8:30 AM
This seems exaggerated but I've been crying every night to sleep ever since my boy went to NS.
I know it sucks and you will think that I over react, but you will never get how I feel.
This feels like a broken heart. Really.
It is like crushing, dying to see him.
Even the shortest phone call makes me smile and happy but once the call ends, I will feel sad and crushed all over again.
And, I have nobody to turn to. As I know, I don't.
You know what hurts the most?
When I cry, I have to cry silently 'cos I don't want my sister to know how pathetic I am.
Yes I feel pathetic crying to myself. It is as if he won't come back to me.
But I am really sad 'cos the times I will ever hear from him is his morning text and night call which only last for 3 minutes or less.
Yes I am pathetic. I should not expect much.
You know the feelings when all you could do all day was stare at your phone hoping you will receive a call/text from him?
Yes, I've been doing that.
The slightest noise I hear, I will turn to my freaking phone.
And when I don't get what I expected, I will feel disappointed.
Yes I know I should not expect. Silly me.
And I always think, does he think of me there?
Nah, maybe he is too busy to care.
I just feel lonely.
I don't have much close friends.
They are either schooling, working or just busy with something.
I just want his presence. That is all.
I have to wait for the 24th to see him. Will I even see him on the 24th?
I have no idea. But I want to.
I feel so pathetic being so emo shit.
But I just can't help myself. I really miss him.
Really miss him. Miss him, really.
Haiz.
I cried while typing this.
I am pathetic, I know.
Blame me for my weak heart.
Goodnight.